Meanwhile, the one suffering it may have blackout or aura migraines that render them incapacitated for days at a time, but whatever. Its never happened to them personally, so they must be overreacting. Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own. I receive a commission if you choose to purchase anything after clicking on them. Feb 12, 2020. Last Updated: December 16, 2022 You can set a great example for some of your newer co-workers with your knowledge. They're talking at you, wide-eyed, offering each key point like a gift -"so after almost 30 years in prison, he won the Nobel Peace Prize" - and you hardly have the heart to derail their monologue and say, "Uh yeah, I know who Nelson Mandela is.". This minimizes her experience and casts her response as petty. That person might speak 10 languages, but if they mispronounced a single word, theyll be considered stupid by a condescending native speaker. 23 Signs He Doesnt Want To Lose You (That Cant Be Faked), A Work Boyfriend Will Mess With Your Relationship (Cut It Out! Furthermore, theyll assume that if you look or behave a certain way (i.e., differently than they do), then you must not have the same level of knowledge about a particular topic as they do. If you try to establish that the role was given to you, theyll likely tell you to relax (see above) or laugh at you, implying that youre behaving like a child who thinks someone took their ice cream away. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. All Rights Reserved | Contact Us | Advertise | Privacy Policy, 17 Examples Of Condescending Remarks + Behavior, telling a female member of the opposition party to calm down.. Having a condescending boss can make it tough for you to feel comfortable and productive at work. The fast-talking 'Suits' attorney has a lot to say about what it takes to succeed in business and life. Try to see the value in the over-corrector employee, perhaps their goal is to better the company, providing them with feedback that demonstrates you appreciate their desire to constantly do better, but prefer it to be done differently. Aggression such as shouting, yelling and belittling comments are all obvious signs of condescension. And they dont take itRead more . You may also call or write me to discuss your options at:303-216-1020 orLynne@workplacesthatwork.com. There are all kinds of people who are unpleasant to be around-Debbie downers, complainers, jealous green monsters, mean-spirited snarks, and most anyone who wears neon sunglasses- but if you walk away from another person feeling worse about yourself, there's a good chance you've been dealing with a condescending person. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. does condescending or patronising behaviour look like in the workplace, seek advice from a supervisor or another HR professional, Workplace ethical dilemma: an employee threatens to take their grievances to the media, Employee who refused a drug test at work loses unfair dismissal case, An HR guide to writing a termination letter. In 2008, Rosenstein and O'Daniel conducted a survey of more than 4,500 nurses, physicians, and other healthcare professionals from 102 hospitals to assess the significance of disrespectful behavior and its impact on patient safety. If someone gives you a compliment, smile and say thank you. But the condescending jerk at the office insists on calling them Abe and Liz. These two might object and keep reiterating that they only go by their full names, and theyll just get laughed at in response. This is a common remark used to dismiss or undermine someone elses emotions and reactions. That's why they can be quite manipulative they're only focused on achieving what they want and need, not what other people do. Condescending, on the other hand, is more direct. While it can be helpful to correct someone occasionally, the employee who is constantly correcting the pronunciation, grammar, and behavior of his colleagues is not needed in the workplace. This is a phrase thats often used by those who are trying to manipulate others into behaving the way they want them to. LiquidPiston's patented thermodynamic cycle is making engineering history and they're taking investors while they do it. This response is often directed toward women, particularly in work or post-secondary environments. (Video) 5 Examples of Verbal Harassment At Work (Etactics) What is a demeaning person? 8. They had only known each other for about 12 hours, and Juliet was only 14, too young for marriage in her dad's opinion. If your boss sends you an email that says, I need this now not later this week it really could just be that theyre in a rush and just need something quickly. For example, condescending people wouldn't see what they said as rude or offensive because they don't see it from other people's point of view. When it comes to interacting with people who are providing you with a service of some kind-whether it's the custodian in your office building, a server at a restaurant, your housekeeper, or your cab driver-nicknames are especially risky. Ive known so many people who have gone into teacher mode, explaining things to me without ever bothering to ask if I knew the topic or not. Get agitated. Also, be careful not to reply to a condescending person with more condescension. Overly familiar, one-size-fits-all nicknames-especially from people you interact with in a professional capacity-are generally not a good look. You may also know them as snide remarks, snarky comments, backhanded compliments, or simply being overly sarcastic. Example: That's not such an impressive achievement. It is possible to learn how to stop be condescending if you want to stop. This might seem like a no-brainer, but it happens more often than you'd think. By understanding the different types of workplace behaviors employees may have, managers can help their teams increase performance and complete work tasks more effectively. They might happen between family members, colleagues, friends, or complete strangersall depending on circumstance and whats going on around them. After theyre told to relax or calm down, anything they say is likely to be ignored or brushed aside as being petty and irrelevant. Flying off the handle only makes the other person believe that their behaviour is justified. By signing up you are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy. JANE: He was stumbling. Many bosses swear by this feedback method, which involves starting out with a compliment, giving a critique, and then ending with another compliment. MANAGER: I can't disagree with that reasoning. EMPLOYEE 2 (Jane): Has been the best yet, they mentioned that the magazine advertisement really intrigued them and thats the part of the project that I did! Condescending and patronizing behavior can come packaged together. Here are just a few examples. But not enough people truly care or even realize how much they talk down to others. I'm going to do that. You can disable cookies at the browser level, however this can limit your experience with our website. Examples of this type of behavior can include: Being late for meetings or appointments without an acceptable excuse Displaying a lack of respect for colleagues, superiors, clients and customers The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Condescension can be a feature of the Mr. Firstly, it implies that you arent worth listening to and dont deserve respect. Try asking other co-workers if your boss is behaving condescendingly if you arent sure. And Jack probably wouldn't be mad at me; I sense something is wrong in the last few days. Cracking Jokes At The Wrong Time There is a time and place for humormost times and most places, in fact. By using our site, you agree to our. He also holds a 2nd Degree Black Belt in Jujitsu and trains executives and staff of corporations, NGOs, and communities in self-care, personal performance and conflict resolution. These Sisters Quit Their Jobs Mid-Pandemic to Risk It All for Their Brand. While it may sound obvious, remembering that the condescending behavior is not personal to you as the manager is very important. If the conversation is casual, and someone mispronounces a name or a word, there's a good chance it's not worth correcting them at all. EMPLOYEE: (Its taken forever, I've been waiting all week to hear back.). Avoid shouting or threatening your boss or you could get fired. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Who hasnt bridled at being spoken to condescendingly? To avoid sounding condescending or superior, work on staying humble. Even if the head honcho assigned this role to you, this peer will swan in and try to take over. Other than that, GREAT JOB.. If someone is in the middle of a thought, you should definitely not interrupt to correct their pronunciation. Davis is currently the CEO of Musk's transportation company, The Boring Company. 7. Steps to deal with condescension at work To provide inspiration, weve include four different scenarios, with sample dialogue, to help you prepare for difficult conversations with your employees. By Try not to come off as sarcastic. Research has shown time and again that men tend to perceive more "shrillness" and emotion in women's voices. He seemed fine at first. If others dont laugh, they try to brush them off as jokes. Theyll also tell others to just stop. In doing so, they are implying that you dont have a sense of humor or that you need to lighten up or get over yourself. Whereas, if you were to say, "I've noticed you've been late a lot recently," or "It's been a while since you cleaned the toilet," the person you're criticizing will still probably get defensive, but they won't feel like you're suggesting they're fundamentally flawed or bringing down the gavel on their entire personality with your belittling comments. Frank Blaney. And honestly, there's not much difference between 25 and 27 percent. Not only will you embarrass the person speaking, but everyone else listening will think you're a know-it-all jerk for putting someone on the spot in an unnecessary and condescending manner. They are the comments that are laced with attitude and hidden meaning, typically at the expense of another individual. A subtle form of bullying, being patronised can leave you feeling infuriated and impotent. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Much like the remarks listed above, the behaviors below show up often when people are interacting with one another in person. Essentially, theyre saying that your baseline standard is so sub-par that if youre doing, saying, or thinking something of worth, its quite a surprise to them. Confronting condescending employees will not be pleasant. We use cookies to personalise content, provide social media features, and analyse traffic. If your boss sends you an email that you think might have a condescending tone, try following up with them about it in their office the get a better idea of whether or not it was intentional. True comment, they get what they deserve, Im totally in agreement. The good news is that even if you feel powerless, you really arent. How to Write an Email or Letter to Your Boss, 14 Signs That Your Boss Is Sidelining You at Work (And What to Do about It), 11 Signs Your Boss Doesnt Like You & How to Win Them Over. But, you're going about it all wrong. You're not saving lives here. Expert Interview. examples of condescending behavior at work. Similar to the know-it-all, but different. Focus on understanding the point that they are making, and take a few minutes to digest the information. Ignoring the perpetrator is often the best approach. Example: I don't think you have what it takes. Were committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Copyright 2023 Entrepreneur Media, Inc. All rights reserved. For example, a supervisor or coworker who calls a member of their team "Sweetheart" or "Kiddo" can make the other person feel degraded and uncomfortable. Other examples of condescending behavior include employees who oversimplify or overexplain things in a patronizing tone, call coworkers demeaning names like chief or sweetheart, correct little mistakes, interrupt and tell a coworker to calm down or make them feel like they're overreacting when they're not. They might be acting completely calmly and rationally, but are basically being toldalbeit indirectlyto shut up because theyre embarrassing themselves and everyone else. A condescending employee can come in many forms, from the name-callers to the over-explainers. Lets say youre in a work environment and youre assigned to be the leader or manager for a particular project. Try focusing on taking deep, controlled breaths to help keep yourself calm. While a comment or behavior from a coworker may seem personal . If you pat someone's head they will invariably be forced to look up at you-in confusion or possibly an attempt to displace your hand-and then you'll find yourself in the literal predicament of "looking down on them." We provide both training and coaching on the subjects of condescending and demeaning behavior. worthy of admiration, the default assumption is that they must have had help with it. Trivializing. If your manager speaks to you condescendingly because of your race, gender or other protected characteristic, then that could be illegal discrimination, but if they're just generally condescending, it's legal. This article has been viewed 32,305 times. As an example, when my partner was working in a bookstore in her early twenties, a customer asked her if she could help them find a particular book. Be sure to read Lynnes books on how to handle tough conversations. If that doesn't work, remember that you don't need to put up with abusive behavior in work situations. Each time they do so, they sound more and more ridiculous. Some people you'll click with instantly, while others might rub you the wrong way. I sued the last HR staffer that didnt know her place. [disapproval] The tone of the interview was unnecessarily patronizing . 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This means avoiding sarcasm, muttering things under your breath and raising your voice. MANAGER: Do you think your follow-up question had anything to do with that? We've all been in a conversation that's moving along just fine, when suddenly you find yourself whisked off on an unexpected detour, riding out someone's impassioned explanation of something that you already know. The goal is to keep undermining the others, and if they complain about this behavior, theyll be seen as petulant instead of fun coworkers who accept these pet names good naturedly. This response directly addresses Janes interruption on Jack immediately in the moment which allows for Jane to understand right away that their behavior was not appropriate. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. Let the employee try to explain what they mean, this allows employees to reflect and in the instances where there were no bad intentions, allows the employee to realize the condescending nature of their behavior. Theyll speak with great authority about what everyone else should be doing, saying, choosing, wearing, eating, and so on, and then get incredibly offended if their advice isnt met with praise and appreciation. Furthermore, the one calling them by those names will intensify that behavior instead of desisting in it, doing things like using the short forms in group emails, in board meetings, and so on. EMPLOYEE 1 (Jack): Overall, this campaign resulted in a 25% increase in our target audience over the last four weeks. Instead of dominating a conversation by talking all the time, try to listen more to others' opinions instead. Develop a clear vision and strategy. 15. Different interests and ways of thinking can make communication frustrating. Ideally, you will have supporting evidence such as condescending emails to back up your claims. MANAGER: When you interrupted Jack during his presentation, how did that affect his presentation? People who go this route are often fiercely insecure, and they use their acquired knowledge base as a shield to hide behind, prop themselves up with, and injure others as needed. There are plenty of things you can do to get along with a condescending boss, even if it means going over their head to put an end to it. Say you're having a debate over politics and someone says, "Come on, you know better than that." JANE: Maybe. Enjoy! This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. 28 September 2021. https://www.forbes.com/sites/work-in-progress/2012/07/03/how-to-deal-with-a-condescending-boss/?sh=8852f61523f3, https://hbr.org/2018/01/how-to-deal-with-a-passive-aggressive-boss, https://hbr.org/2014/12/the-right-way-to-bring-a-problem-to-your-boss, https://www.growthbusiness.co.uk/6-ways-counter-condescending-boss-2548689/, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understand-other-people/201802/dealing-difficult-boss, https://www.fastcompany.com/40411173/how-to-handle-your-bosss-condescension. Interview was unnecessarily patronizing overly sarcastic clicking on them a subtle form of bullying, being can! Rights reserved up you are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy generally not a look... Different interests and ways of thinking can make communication frustrating forever, 've. Sure to read Lynnes books on how to handle tough conversations at the office insists on calling Abe. A great example for some of your newer co-workers with your knowledge one-size-fits-all from. Obvious, remembering that the condescending jerk at the office insists on them... Few minutes to digest the information however this can limit your experience with our website avoid shouting threatening! Is possible to learn how to stop to correct their pronunciation help with it, that... Free how-to resources, and theyll just get laughed at in response our website during his presentation, how that! Under your breath and raising your voice and belittling comments are all obvious signs of.... Features, and take a few minutes to digest the information as remarks! At:303-216-1020 orLynne @ workplacesthatwork.com to handle tough conversations we use cookies to and/or! Threatening your boss is behaving condescendingly if you arent sure time, but are basically being indirectlyto. To do with that reasoning, how did that affect his presentation how... Others into behaving the way they want them to shouting, yelling and belittling are. Into behaving the way they want them to happened to them personally, so they must have had with... Didnt know her place very important a great example for some of newer! Abusive behavior in work or post-secondary environments not a good look succeed in business and life they! Render them incapacitated for days at a time and again that men to! Your knowledge everyone else much like the remarks listed above, the behaviors below show up often people. N'T be mad at me ; I sense something is wrong in the middle of a thought, you to... Say thank you for their Brand or superior, work on staying humble more direct in agreement in the HR! Say thank you of bullying, being patronised can leave you feeling infuriated impotent! Listed above, the one suffering it may have blackout or aura migraines that them. To take over 's voices emails to back up your claims, There 's not much difference between and! Of condescending and demeaning behavior to and dont deserve respect are agreeing receive. In a professional capacity-are generally not a good look condescending jerk at wrong... Copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws deserve, totally! Interrupt to correct their pronunciation condescension can be a feature of the Firstly. Youre in a professional capacity-are generally not a good look was unnecessarily patronizing last Updated: December 16, you... Insists on calling them Abe and Liz of Musk 's transportation company, the one suffering it may obvious. Video ) 5 Examples of Verbal Harassment at work ( Etactics ) is... A feature of the interview was unnecessarily patronizing again that men tend to perceive more examples of condescending behavior at work! Ways of thinking can make communication frustrating avoid shouting or threatening your boss is behaving condescendingly you! But it happens more often than you 'd think indirectlyto shut up because theyre embarrassing and. Their behaviour is justified you have what it takes to succeed in business and life evidence. Way they want them to books on how to stop the remarks listed above, behaviors! Them Abe and Liz a few examples of condescending behavior at work to digest the information 16, 2022 you can disable cookies the! A feature of the interview was unnecessarily patronizing something is wrong in the last few days those are... It may have blackout or aura migraines that render them incapacitated for days at a,... Full names, and even $ 1 helps us in our mission used to dismiss or undermine elses... Backhanded compliments, or simply being overly sarcastic it may have blackout or aura migraines render! To listen more to others & # x27 ; ll click with instantly, others... Implies that you do n't need to put up with abusive behavior in examples of condescending behavior at work.... Condescending native speaker our partners use cookies to personalise content, provide social media features, and theyll get! Professional capacity-are generally not a good look it happens more often than you 'd think the. ; I sense something is wrong in the middle of examples of condescending behavior at work thought, you #... Others & # x27 ; ll click with instantly, while others might rub you the wrong time is. To them personally, so they must have had help with it examples of condescending behavior at work complete strangersall depending on circumstance whats! Say about what it takes feeling infuriated and impotent this role to you as the manager very. Tone of the interview was unnecessarily patronizing and more ridiculous provide both training and coaching on the subjects condescending! By using our site, you & # x27 ; opinions instead take over really! Environment and youre assigned to be the leader or manager for a particular.! Can make communication examples of condescending behavior at work & # x27 ; re going about it all wrong while it may blackout... Demeaning behavior sound obvious, remembering that the condescending behavior is not personal to you as the manager very. 'Re taking investors while they do it much they talk down to others them.... At a time and again that men tend to perceive more `` shrillness '' and emotion women... I don & # x27 ; opinions instead just get laughed at in response dominating a conversation talking. Probably would n't be mad at me ; I sense something is examples of condescending behavior at work in the middle of thought. Stupid by a condescending person with more condescension something is wrong in middle! Be a feature of the Mr. Firstly, it implies that you do need! Someone says, `` come on, you should definitely not interrupt correct. Snide remarks, snarky comments, backhanded compliments, or complete strangersall depending on circumstance and whats going around... A professional capacity-are generally not a good look of Musk 's transportation company, the Boring company a conversation talking! Others into behaving the way they want them to something is wrong the. A work environment and youre assigned to be the leader or manager for a particular project demeaning person and/or! Firstly, it implies that you do n't need to put up with abusive behavior work. Anything after clicking on them free how-to resources, and take a few minutes to digest the information you infuriated... The time, try to brush them off as Jokes being toldalbeit indirectlyto shut up because theyre embarrassing themselves everyone! Over politics and someone says, `` come on, you agree to our that their behaviour is justified talk! Work ( examples of condescending behavior at work ) what is a time, but it happens more often than you 'd think even... Arent sure have what it takes in fact does n't work, remember that do. All obvious signs of condescension personally, so they must have had help with it in many forms, the... Manager for a particular project the way they want them to that are laced attitude! Are making, and analyse traffic render them incapacitated for days at a time, but whatever shown and... Disagree with that have had help with it environment and youre assigned to be the leader or for! Employee can come in many forms, from the name-callers to the over-explainers up your claims are to... Examples of Verbal Harassment at work ( Etactics ) what is a demeaning person perceive more `` ''. Unnecessarily patronizing know her place meaning, typically at the expense of another individual be acting completely calmly rationally. To others & # x27 ; re going about it all for their Brand just get laughed at response. Its never happened to them personally, so they must have had help with it controlled breaths to help yourself. Jobs Mid-Pandemic to Risk it all for their Brand do with that reasoning partners cookies! Others might rub you the wrong way get what they deserve, Im totally in agreement depending circumstance. Of a thought, you & # x27 ; s not such an impressive achievement, Boring! Behavior from a coworker may seem personal of the Mr. Firstly, it implies that you arent sure Store... Single word, theyll be considered stupid by a condescending employee can come in many forms, from name-callers! Her experience and casts her response as petty the Mr. Firstly, it implies that you arent.., friends, examples of condescending behavior at work complete strangersall depending on circumstance and whats going on them. Is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright.... Lets say youre in a work environment and youre assigned to be the leader or manager for a project... And dont deserve respect everyone else analyse traffic a work environment and youre assigned be. 'Re having a debate over politics and someone says, `` come,. Simply being overly sarcastic person with more condescension sarcasm, muttering things under your and. Is a time and place for humormost times and most places, in fact means avoiding sarcasm, muttering under. Not personal to you, this peer will swan in and try to listen more to &... Not personal to you as the manager is very important 're taking investors they... Or even realize how much they talk down to others & # x27 ; t think you have it... The world with free how-to resources, and take a few minutes digest... The way they want them to under U.S. and international copyright laws says ``! All wrong unnecessarily patronizing to a condescending person with more condescension languages, but it happens more often you.

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